February 1st 2002 my husband and I welcomed our first son, Ian into this world and into our family with love and great expectations. Within the first three weeks I felt something was different. At four months of age I dramatically changed my diet while I nursed to help his severe reflux. At six months of age I decided to postpone vaccinations which resulted to this day in no additional vaccines. Around eleven months of age I witnessed his first seizure and thus began the journey with neurologists, allergists, developmental specialists, speech and occupational therapists for Ian and for me, psychotherapy.
I look back to those first few years and remember it as a time filled with love shrouded by storm clouds of fear, anxiety, sadness, anger and the list goes on. I viewed my son as injured, sick and a child needing fixing. My thoughts created an experience where I lived in a constant state of hyper-vigilance and I was drowning in my painful thoughts.
That was then. This is NOW.
Today I see a very different child. I see a child here to teach the world to clean up the toxins and I hear him clearly. I believe this is why the number of children diagnosed with autism has increased dramatically over the last decade. In 2010 the CDC reported 1 in 110 children were diagnosed with autism, a 57% increase from the same study done in 2002.
Children with autism have a powerful message and they will get louder and louder until we listen and make a shift.
You may think I'm talking about the toxins in the environment and yes, that's part of it. But the bigger message from him is to clean up the toxins in our mind, in our thinking. Because the way I see it, everything in our world begins with thought.
This may sound pretty nutty to you. That's perfectly fine. I don't suggest you take my word for it. Test it for yourself. Use whatever form of inquiry that works for you. I use The Work by Byron Katie. I wrote about how The Work transformed my life in, The Day I Discovered My Freedom.
Find a thought that creates deep pain for you and write it down. Take it to inquiry and see what you discover for yourself.
When I started to clean up the toxins in my mind, clean up the thoughts that created stress and pain I began to see a world filled with love. The clouds began to lift and the light shone through. The war began in my head and I had all the power to end the war.
As a result, Ian's healing accelerated and he's made more progress in the last year than ever before. His immune system is regulating and he's spending more time in a state of ease rather than stress. Recently, he's eaten over 30 new foods and I wrote about it in the post Letting Go One Belief At A Time.
From where I stand now the world gets more and more beautiful every day. And when it looks ugly and painful that's a cue for me that there is more to clean out.
If I want the world to clean up, I start by cleaning up the thoughts in my mind. Then I'm able to come to the table with a clear mind, compassion, understanding, love and acceptance. I can participate in a discussion without anger, without resistance and with the intention for connection and to find a solution. I believe at the core we all want the same outcome. A world that is safe for our children.
Ian has a huge purpose as do all children with autism. They are patiently waiting for us to clean up the world so it is a safer, more comfortable place for them to live, laugh, play and love and it starts by cleaning up the thoughts in our mind.
Are you ready to end the war and see the world from a different view?